. This season of
has had it all.
Tonight, on the season finale, notes are compared and confrontations are had.
Sarah's still being a ball of drunken crazy about being picked on for breaking the cake. Over her.
.
).
,
Gretchen gives Tamra a friendship bracelet. Each charm represents
something special, but one heart represents how Tamra's unbreakable.
Tamra tells Gretchen she loves her and thanks her for being such a good
friend.
And then she cries again. While Tamra needs to lay off the booze tonight, it's a nice moment for these ladies.
.
Sarah's still whining about the cake and has the audacity to call
Heather the rude one. Heather calls for the "heavy artillery" - a bunch
of ladies in cocktail dresses and Terry and says it's time for Sarah to
go.
Alexis tries to get louder than everyone else to
bring about a resolution and Slade speaks up as the voice of reason.
There's no need for a resolution. There's a need for Sarah to leave
because that's what's been asked of her.
As they get Sarah to the door, the greatest line in all of reality
television ever, or maybe just this season, falls out of Sarah's mouth:
"Is this the world we live in? Over a
Yes, Sarah. Yes it is. Buh-bye.
The party's still rocking at Chateau Dubrow, and Vicki decides it's
time to "apologize" to Ryan for bringing him up in her fight with
Briana. But in Vickiwood, apologize means "talk about yourself and make
things all about how everyone else is wrong."
Minus 17.
She thinks Ryan will help her get Briana back, but
Ryan says this is really Vicki's problem. Then she says "I love you. I
don't know you and you took my daughter away, but I love you." Uh,
thanks? Ryan loves you too?
Minus 8.
Alexis is rambling on to Brooks about how Jim isn't there because he
didn't want to be there. And who sneaks in the door but Jim!
Heather's Drama-Senses are tingling and Alexis is chipper over Jim's
arrival. WAY chipper. Way more than just one cocktail chipper.
Minus 11. Terry comments to a guest that Jim "grew a pair and showed up" right before he does the man-hug-handshake thing that men do.
In Camp Gunvalson, Jeana's daughter Kara sees Slade hug Tamra and is
confused. Gretchen applies Tamra's lipgloss (by kissing her) and Vicki
goes traipsing across the yard. She thinks Tamra and Gretchen's
friendship is fake and calls Tamra a brown-noser. Let it go, Vicki.
Gretchen's just more fun than you.
Minus 7.
Slade offers up his services as bouncer again should
Terry need them. He's prepared to send Jim packing if he needs to.
Terry asks if they're okay and Jim says they'll talk next week.
Alexis says they should just talk now and in a complete douchebag move, Jim asks "really? Are you wearing the pants?"
Minus 50. I just can't stand this man.
Jim and Terry go talk and Terry's straight up with Jim. He thinks Alexis is phony and inauthentic.
Plus 5. Heather walks up and Jim nods in her direction and says this is the reason he wanted to talk next week.
Jim's got a problem with the women-folk. But, the talk continues. Until Tamra walks up. Then Jim's out.
Minus 10, Tamra. This wasn't your conversation to have.
Alexis says Heather shouldn't have even been in the conversation and
it should've just been Jim and Terry, man-to-man. Actually, sweetheart,
it should've been YOU and Terry because Terry talked about you. But
whatever.
Alexis goes out to talk to Jim and Jim's pulling out of the driveway
without her. She practically has to chase him down the driveway to get
him to stop the car.
Minus 12.
The gang's all at the table now. And the booze is flowing. Vicki
toasts to the absent Alexis and Tamra rolls her eyes. Brooks challenges
her, saying she gave Vicki the "Evil Eye," and picks a fight with Tamra
on Vicki's behalf. Gretchen says a fight's been brewing between the two
of them for months.
Tamra and Brooks start to argue and then Vicki tells Eddie to get
control of Tamra, which causes Tamra to tell Vicki to stop letting
Brooks tell her what to think, which makes Vicki stand up and get in
Tamra's face.
Can we cut the cake already? Maybe these ladies need some sugar.
Vicki and Brooks prepare to leave and Tamra follows them to find out
why they're leaving. Vicki shouts that Tamra's supposed to be her friend
and how dare Tamra talk about Brooks and disrespect him and blah blah
blah. Get a grip, Vicki.
Tamra goes to find Briana after Vicki and Brooks leave and they
compare notes. Neither of them like Brooks. Tamra's crying. Briana's
ready to stick Brooks on a plane to Siberia. Ryan goes back into the
house to get Briana away from Tamra so that Tamra can't corrupt Briana
while she and Vicki are "in a healing phase."
Minus 4.
Heather goes out to get Vicki and Brooks and bring
them back in for her special toast. Briana asks Vicki for Vicki's side
of the story. Suddenly, it seems Vicki saw Tamra roll her eyes and she
chooses Brooks over her daughter. They all head back into the party for
the final toast.
Minus 12.
Finally, we're cutting this damn cake.
Heather explains why they're all there - shockingly, it wasn't for
the drama - she's changed her name legally and wants to thank her
friends, new and old, for coming out to support her. Heather's classy. I
like her.
Plus 30.
In the worst Vicki moment so far, she muscles her way into the circle
to say, basically, "Congrats Heather. When I'm attacked, I fight back
and I'm leaving and I'm choosing my man." I'm surprised she didn't drop a
"my love tank is full" for good measure.
Minus 20.
Heather's big surprise of the night - diamonds in the champagne
glasses - goes over well. Tamra gets the lucky flute. Now she's got a
new rock to match the one Eddie gave her in Bora Bora.
Closing notes:
- Tamra asks Heather to do shots. Not a good idea, Tamra. Heather says
they don't do shots. Tamra calls her Fancypants. In love, of course.
- Heather's still opening up a restaurant.
- Eddie asks Ryan, Tamra's son, to be his best man when Eddie and Tamra tie the knot. Tamra needs another drink.
- Briana says that she and Vicki's relationship will really continue to suffer as long as Vicki keeps choosing Brooks.
- Briana and Ryan had a wedding for their friends and family. Briana's also six months pregnant.
- Tamra and Gretchen are closer than Gretchen and Alexis.
- Gretchen doesn't want to get married, but she does want a baby. Slade's having his vasectomy reversed.
- Vicki and Brooks have broken up and gotten back together since the finale was taped.
- Alexis is happy with her career and her family but not her friends. She and Jim are opening a trampoline park.
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